2011 Preview

2011... Pretty exciting

I had intended on writing this post at the beginning of the year, and I just can't believe how fast time goes by. The craziest part is how fast plans can change in a single moment. As of January 1, 2011 I was planning on the following:

1. Graduating from BYU in April
2. Hawaii in June
3. China in August
4. Get a real life job
5. Live with Aaron again in our own place
6. Florida, to visit my parents
7. Gideon comes home from his mission
8. Go on a cruise
9.  etc...

Now... pretty much everything is still going to happen or take place, with the exception that in the midst of almost all these activities I will be pregnant. I still get to do everything except go to China and even then I am hoping that my team decides to go earlier and maybe I can go. So now the story of how this all happened...

During Christmas the idea of maybe being pregnant crossed my mind because I hadn't gotten my period. Other than that I had no other reasons to think that I might be. I had talked to my sister-in-law Brittany and my friend Oakley about it and if I remember right we came to the conclusion that it wasn't possible, in fact I remember saying it's impossible. For a couple reasons, I didn't have any of the symptoms such as: morning sickness, nausea, basically anything that would indicate your pregnant. It wasn't until mid January that I went to lunch with Oakley and she asked me how I was doing and if I had gotten my period yet. I told her no I hadn't and until that point I had convinced myself that I wasn't and I moved on. I told her also, that the whole idea is impossible and I have an IUD, yes there is .4% chance you can get pregnant, 99.6% you wont but really what are the odds? Especially when you don't even live with your husband, you have an IUD, and your not sick the slightest bit! I admit I told her that I have so much planned and I don't want to be pregnant. Yes, that is me young and selfish and defintely thinking I am not ready to take on this type of motive. The turning point in our conversation was when Oak said, "Mercedes, you don't want to the kill the baby" and as horrible as that sounds, it was horrible to even think that because I was in denial, that could be happening. I suddenly thought OMGSH I could never do that!

Right after I dropped Oakley off I headed over the dollar store where Oakley had recommended I go and get a pregnancy test because they were only a dollar and her doctor said they are just as effective as the 3 for $15 ones at Wallgreens. So I bought ONE. I still didn't think I was pregnant. I went home did the test, and I got two red lines... I forgot to read the part on how to read the test and so when I did... my first thought was well that can't be right. Maybe positive means that the test is positive you're not pregnant (haha I laugh now thinking about it). Just to make sure, I called Oakley and asked her. She confirmed that positive meant you are pregnant. Then I told her it says positive. There was a brief moment of silence... and we decided I needed to go get another test to make sure. So I went back got THREE more tests and Oakley came over. I took a total of three tests and Oakley took one just to make sure they were all good. Her test came out negative while my next two tests came out positive. I WAS IN COMPLETE SHOCK. The question "How" kept repeating in my mind. As I sat there on the couch with Oakley, she asked when I was going to tell Aaron. I was pretty sure after three tests I was pregnant. So I called Aaron, I did cry trying to tell him and I knew he would be in even more shock than me. He was, and I told him to call me when he was ready to talk more about it. He called me back minutes later, really excited!

The problem. I still had my IUD in. I wasn't sure how far along I was, and when I did some research about having an IUD while pregnant it wasn't good. Monday, morning I was so anxious for the doctor's office to open up. I called and told Joy and she found a few doctors for me to call. I called my former OBGYN and made an appointment and I was not excited to see that lady. There was one office though that didn't open tell 9 AM and I knew that if I could just wait tell 9 and call the office they would have something and I knew I had to go there. Finally it was 9 and I called and told the nurse what was going on and she said to come in right away. I was so relieved. I met with the doctor and she explained to me that they had to do an ultra sound to check where the IUD was in relation to the baby and make sure that it wasn't in the wrong place either. She told me there is 50% chance of miscarriage when removing an IUD and it all depends on where it is. If it's easy to take it out will do it right away and if not you might just have to leave in the IUD. She asked me how far along I thought I was, I told her at the most 6-7 weeks.

So we are in the room and I see the ultra sound... crazy... first off the IUD was in a really easy place for them to take it out and they did it right with no problems (I wonder why it was so easy?) Second, I was not 6-7 weeks along I was just short a few days of 12 weeks!!! Basically, I was done with my first trimester. You could actually see the whole outline of the baby. I wanted to cry, not because I thought my life was over but if I could actually do this. I didn't cry. The doctor said everything looked really good, and that is when it became reality.

What I think now: Well now I am excited, as of this coming Sunday it will be 14 weeks. In couple of weeks I will know the gender too. I heard the heartbeat last week and that was awesome. All I could think of is why would people ever get an abortion? It is a lot of work? Yes. But the best things in life are never easy, especially when you don't plan on them. That is our test. How we handle the situation can either weaken or make us even stronger. I am thankful to know who I am and that this experience will only make me better. Aaron and I are so excited and I know our families are excited for us too. As for my parents it will be their first grandchild who made them grandparents!

If you know me, you know that this was not my plan. My whole life I have tried to plan and things always seem to happen sooner than they should. I realize that it is my life, but when I pray every night for the Lord to guide my life I suppose he has been the one planning it the whole time. It is a testimony to me that as hard as I tried for this not happen it was just meant to be. I have followed that small and still voice through out my life with the biggest decisions and the smallest ones and I can honestly say I would never want to live any other way because it has made me who I am today and brought so many blessings into my life.